angus ‘young’ ribeye balls
angus young from the critically acclaimed band ac/dc once told me “you can’t grind up those well-marbled angus steaks and turn them into hamburgers, jordan” and boy did i show him; i punched him in the eye and said “listen ang’ your songs may be great, but don’t tell me what i can and cannot grind up for a brkfst” and which point he looked at me and said “i have no clue who you are, security, please escort this disturbed gentleman out the door…i have no idea how he got in here.”
the story above took place when i was on a bad drug trip when i was getting over another drug that i was taking to help cope with the withdrawal symptoms.
i took three (that’s 3) pounds (lbs) of angus ribeye steak and ground it once in a hobart grinder. hobart makes the finest tabletop grinders that can endure years of grinding the toughest thing on earth. diamonds you say? ha ha, no, a highly laughable suggestion…no my tasty friends, i mean pork skin. as my other brother (aka good friend) put it “nothing’s tougher than pork skin.” i mixed the ground angus (the steak not the guitarist from ac/dc) with chopped carrots, celery, and some onion and garlic and glazed the outside with a very rich and very haute and trendy mix of mayonnaise and a substance only available in the classiest areas of france and what the french call “la moutarde.” after the nice run-on sentence that just occurred, i shall tell you that the angus meatballs were baked. prior to putting the pan of angus balls, haha balls, in the oven, i took some very magical extract of olive mash that i purchased from a purveyor of fine goods at a purchasorium* on the north-east end of town. i pulled out the angus balls after a fine cooking and ate them with voracious voracity. the smell was tangy and rich and reminded me of a steak i once cooked for brkfst with similar ingredients, http://brkfst.tumblr.com/post/92770162/post-pan-seared-pre-oven-roasted-steak-this-my that my friends, is how you cook a steak. yup. with heat. the carrots and other vegetables i mentioned above and are too lazy to remember what i put in to scroll up and look, tasted amazing. they stayed in tact and had no signs of burning or spoilage. the meat balls will be amazing as a cold, hand-sliced meatball segment for a sandwich. another brkfst perhaps? stay tuned.
james bond. brkfst. james bond. brkfst.
q.
*purchasorium; n; a store-like emporium for the exchangemént of monetary valued, paper-like pictures of famous people for fine goods. …needless to say, the guy who opened it is already out of business in one day because he accepted pictures of sylvester stallone and william h. macey as money. no one realized you could buy “la moutarde” at safeway.
the above picture is a stock photo of meatballs from the world wide internet. in other words, those aren’t my balls. apparently polaroids is not a form of steroids, and it’s also a camera that went out of style in the 80’s. so i was unable to purchase film for a picture for my camera.
